未分類

让孩子学会负责任的三个方法

投稿日:

我们都知道有责任感的人十分可靠,也值得信赖,美国​的​一​项​研究​调查​显示, 招聘​时, 78%的​人力​资源​顾问​最​看重​的​品格​之​一​就是​有​责任感。不过,许多父母因为自己小时候过的很辛苦,于是当有了孩子就会舍不得孩子受苦,希望孩子少吃苦,所以,很多父母喜欢帮孩子负责任,帮他们做决定好、帮他们解决难题,过度保护孩子。如今,很多父母都不太重视培养孩子的责任心。当孩子遇到一些事情的时候,父母总是替孩子完成。然而,责任心是做事情的标准之一,没有责任心就不可能认真去做事。今天,有些年轻人被称为“回巢族”。他们成年后从家里搬出去,后来却发现自己无法独立生活,最后只能搬回去和父母住,就好像是回到自己的“老巢”。造成这种问题的原因,往往是父母之前没有教他们怎样做家务、管理钱财以及处理其他日常事务。因此,如果你现在不帮助孩子培养责任感,他们成年后就可能无法负起该负的责任。《如何养出一个成年人》一书也提到:“你不会想让他们到了十八岁还在依赖你,也不会想[要]说分就分,把他们丢进现实世界。”在人的一生中,几乎处处存在着承担责任这件事,从小教育孩子做一个有责任的人是一件非常重要的事情,如果​孩子从小​就学​会​做​一​个​负​责任​的​人, 长大​后​一定​会​获​益​不​浅。我们来看看父母可以这么做来帮助孩子学会承担责任。

给孩子分配家务 生活中,家长要敢于给孩子委以“重任”,让孩子感到自己在家中的重要性。别总是认为孩子还很小,做不了,做不好,每一个小的地方,家长都不应放过,更不能怀着“大事化小,小事化了”的心理。对于孩子力所能及的事,创造机会有意识地锻炼孩子,让孩子学着负责任。首先,做家务就是个不错的方法。小孩子通常喜欢在父母身边做个小帮手。父母可以善用孩子的这种天性,安排他们做一些家务。不过,有些父母却不愿意这样做,他们觉得孩子的功课已经够多了,不想再加重孩子的负担,是的,如果孩子每天都有堆积如山的作业,父母可能就不忍心给他们分配家务,不过,《给孩子金钱买不到的富足》(英文)一书指出,为了让孩子考高分,就不让他们做家务,“这表明父母没能分清主次”。孩子承担一些家务其实有助于改善学业。此外,做家务能让人感觉对家庭有所贡献也更有成就感。孩子从中得到的益处会一直伴随他们,很小的时候就孩子做家务,她们长大后生活自理能力就比较强。到他们成家后仍会继续发挥作用。事实上,平时做家务的孩子在学校的表现通常更出色,因为他们在家里已经学会接受任务,并且尽力完成。另外,《教养无国界》一书说:“孩子小时候想帮忙[却]不让他们参与,孩子就会认定帮忙不重要……还会开始期望别人会帮他们把事情做好。”因此,可别小看做家务哦!那么,给孩子分配家务,从几岁开始比较合适呢?有人认为三岁,也有人建议两岁,甚至更早。早一点让孩子开始锻炼确实是好的,因为年幼的孩子很喜欢跟父母一起做事,喜欢模仿父母。所以,父母们可以按年龄分配家务 比方说,可以让三岁的孩子收拾玩具,清理弄洒的东西,或者帮忙洗衣服。大一点的孩子可以扫地、拖地、吸尘,甚至可以做饭。总之要考虑孩子的年龄,让他们做些力所能及的家务。你可能会欣喜地发现,孩子做起家务来劲头十足呢!父母除了要 告诉 孩子他们有什么责任之外,还须要从旁协助 孩子 ,使他们能够做得到、做得好 。

给孩子选择的权利和自由,就意味着让孩子承担责任和后果义务。父母替孩子选择,孩子往往是被动接受,也多了几分对立情绪。如果让孩子自己选择,是孩子心甘情愿干的事情,孩子会为自己的选择而努力,也会为自己的选择承担责任。从孩子懂事起,就应该让他明白,所有人都应为自己的选择负起责任,对自己的行为承担后果。没有父母的事事包办,孩子难免表现出消极、沮丧、烦恼的负面情绪。父母不但要引导孩子学会如何承担起责任,还要适当的安抚与开解孩子的负面情绪。
假如 你 的 孩子 要 面对 一 件 困难 的 工作 , 你 看见 他们 很 担心 很 害怕 , 这 时 你 会 有 什么 反应 呢 ? 是 不 是 自然的反应就是设法保护 儿女,为 儿女解困  , 不 让 他们 面对 这 件 难事 , 以免 他们 经历 失败 和 挫折 ? 你 的 本能 反应 也许 会 促使 你 “ 出手 相 救 ”, 把 责任 挪 到 自己 身 上 来 。但 请 想想 , 如果 你 每 次 见 到 孩子 遇 上 困难 , 都 立刻 “ 出手 相 救 ”, 这 会 向 孩子 传达 一 个 什么 信 息 呢 ? 你 这样 做 , 能 让 孩子 看 出 你 对 他们 有 信心 , 相信 他们 可以 成功 完成 任务 吗 ? 抑或 是 在 告诉 他们 , 你 仍然 把 他们 看 成 是 柔弱 的 婴孩 , 做 任何 事 都 得 倚靠 你 的 帮助 呢 ?父母其实可以利用 这个机会去帮助孩子培养 一 种重要的能力,那就是 负起自己责任的能力。当孩子遇到难题向你求助的时候,你可以告诉他方法,绝不插手,让孩子自己面对和解决。孩子犯错时,要教他负起责任,而不是掩饰错误。事实上,孩子能够做一些事来弥补自己犯下的错。例如,他不小心弄坏了别人的东西,他可以道歉,甚至赔偿对方的损失。在现实 生活中,你总不能永远在儿女身边,为 他们 遮风挡雨 。孩子 早晚 要 离开 父母,负 起自己的担子和责任,父母要帮助孩子学会照顾自己,就必须持续不断地训练他们 ,使他们长大后成为 一 个 不 自私 、关心  和有责任感的人 。这可 不 是一 件 容易 的 事 啊 !儿女年纪 还 小 ,父母 就 期望 他们 负 起 成年人 的 责任 ,这 也 是 不 合理 的 。不过 , 随 着 孩子 不断 长大 , 父母 要因他们 的 能力 去 调整 对 他们 的 要求 。 例如 ,父母 必须让 孩子知道 , 他们 应该 照顾 自己 的 个人 卫生 、 收拾 自己 的 房间 、 守时 、 善用 金钱 等等 。孩子 上学 后 ,父母 就 要 帮助 孩子 明白 , 完成 作业 是 他们 必须 负 起 的 重要 责任。有责任感的人不论在家里、学校或是在社会上都会做好自己该做的事。他们知道要对自己的行为负责,所以当他们做错事时,就会承认自己错了,还会为此道歉,并且努力改过。也会跟别人有好的关系。有责任感的人会好好运用自己的才能,这样别人很可能会尊敬他,当他是个大人,他也可以得到更多自由和奖励

给孩子树立榜样,父母​用​自己​的​行为​给​孩子​做​榜样意味着要以身作则。不论​是​对​年幼​的​儿童, 还是​十几​岁​的​孩子, 父母​的​影响力​都​是​最​大​的, 甚至​比​孩子​同龄​人​的​影响力​还​大。 因此, 为了​帮助​孩子​走​正确​的​道路, 你​的​角色​最​重要。​孩子​会​留意​父母做​的​每​一​件​事,父母 也 必须 通过 言传 和 身教 ,让儿女清楚 知道 应该 怎样 负 起 自己的责任 。假如父母常常 抱怨 自己怎么不像某些人那样,能过上轻松舒适的生活,这样对孩子的心理上会有不益的影响,我们 人人 有时 都 会 感 到 工作很辛苦 , 压力很大 。但是 ,不要忘记 , 你 的 榜样 最 能 帮助 儿女 看 出 , 愿意负起责任是非常重要和有价值的 。如果可以的话 , 不妨 偶尔带孩子到你工作的地方,让孩子看看你是怎样挣钱养家的。你也可以让孩子跟你一起 做 义工 , 然后 一起 谈谈 帮助 别人 的 乐趣 。这样你会帮助他们看出施与比接受更快乐,无形中也让孩子明白了承担责任的意义,也更加乐意这样做。

责任感都是在一点一滴的小事中积累起来的,孩子首先能学会自理,才有能力把自己的事情处理妥当。在生活中应该多多给孩子承担责任的机会,有责任感的人会因自己做的事而感到高兴、有成就感,这样他就会对自己更有自信。孩子的责任心是可塑的,如果家长事事包办,后期孩子将不愿为任何的人和事负责任。列夫·托尔斯泰说:一个人没有热情,他将一事无成,而热情的基点正是责任心。不负责任的态度和习惯,容易让孩子成为自私的人。而自私会限制他的发展能力,会限制与他人交往的深度,和孩子看待世界的角度。因此,从小就要开始培养孩子的责任心。如果 你 总 是 做 孩子 的 挡风墙 , 使 他们 不用 面对 难题 , 他们 也许 就 难以 养 成 解决 问题 的 能力 , 将来 也 会 应付不了人生的风风雨雨 。 因此 , 要 好好 训练 孩子 , 帮 他们 学 会 负 起 责任 。 这样 , 你 就是 把 一 份 非常 宝贵 的 礼物 送 给 他们 了 。

-未分類

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